I just want to say "slow down, will ya?"

So, it's summertime, which is usually an awesome time. This summer, however, has not lived up to expectations and it's probably all my fault. See, I don't have a job, which means no means of paying for my room and board next year. I've looked for one and applied at several places but I haven't been altogether diligent about it. I just wish finding a job was easier. Like you could take a series of exams that looked at your skills/intelligence, entered important info about experience, awards, location, and hobbies/interests and have it all stored in some database that matches you up with the most suitable jobs. Bleh.

I also haven't been the best person this summer. I've been really lackadaisical with my scripture study and journal writing. But on the other hand, I feel like I've learned a lot and changed a lot. For example, my mom recently remarried a man that has four kids of his own. As you can imagine, it's been a challenge to try and blend families. Through it all, I've been able to really treat my new step siblings and stepfather with the respect and love that I know they deserve. It hasn't always been easy and I know I haven't been perfect, but I have been definitely acting more mature and considerate. I've also been treating my little brother better (we used to have all out brawls) and I like our relationship a whole lot more now. So in lots of ways I've grown, and in some ways...not so much. Yeah, I have some things to work on.

Just for fun, I thought I would go through all my friends on facebook (which happens to be a whoping 708) to find out who is engaged/married/on missions/about to be on missions. It took a very long time, but I have it all nice and organized in a spread sheet. Here are the statistics: 18 friends are engaged (I don't know exactly when each one is getting married, some of their weddings are really soon and some are a ways away, but it would be good to figure out), 18 friends are recently married ( some of the people I knew were getting married and some were surprises to me), 17 friends on missions, and 9 friends soon to be missionaries.

These numbers will most likely change in a couple of days. I have two friends that are expecting mission calls in the next week or so. I thought I would post these stats because I just feel so grateful to have these people in my life and because I'm so excited for them in the individual stage of their life that they're in. I know eventually I'll get to experience what they're all going through and they'll be just as excited for me as I am for them.

Also, seeing the stats made me think about my life. I'm only 18 now but everyday I get a little older and each day I'm one more day closer to a big landmark in my life. I just don't know which one yet or when it's coming. I just know I want to be more ready than I am now.

Finalement

So, I'm finally (mostly) stress-free. I'm done with all things related to school 'til fall! I only have good memories of summertime. Mainly because it's time I can use to curl up with a good book and just chill out. Without a doubt, this summer will be different because I need to find a job, but that's still kind of an exciting process.

Listed below are the best things about summer in my opinion:

1. READING. I can't really read during school because if I get too caught up in a book I'm bound to not do much else.

2. VACATION. Every summer since I can remember, I've gone some where for summer. When I was a child I got to spend my summers havind adventures in my Grandparents' neighborhood. Those were good days. Other summers we would go elsewhere like Colorado or Cali. These last couple summers have included trips to Cali (and Disneyland!). I don't know if I'll be going anywhere this summer, but just knowing it's possible is good enough for me.

3. FAMILY. Usually during the summer I'm able to spend some real quality time with my family. It'll be especially good this summer cuz I've been away from home for so long and I actually miss my little siblings. *gasp* I know, I know, crazy thought.

4. AIR CONDITIONING. You really get to being thankful for air conditioning during a hot summer in AZ. But who doesn't love the heat??? I can't wait for my skin to drink it in when I get there. delightful.

5. SUMMER LOVIN'. lol, okay so this isn't technically a "favorite", but it is kinda fun to have summer flings. Although, I'll admit I've never really had one. More like summer crushes...still quite fun.

So my list is not too long, but definitely enjoyable. On a non-related note, I would like to let you in on some of the things that have made these last couple days amusing.

As I've been packing and cleaning for my inevitable trip back to AZ, my grandma has been close at hand to help me prepare for any possible contact with the swine flu. I am now in the possession of a whole bag of hand wipes and three face masks. One is for me, and the others, I was told, are for the two people I sit next to. According to my Grandpa, the best way to give my neighbors the masks is to accompany the giving with a joke. She also provided me with a Beethoven joke that is sure to break the tension and the awkwardness of passing out facemasks. I would share it with you here, but it really needs to be told, not typed.

Well, I really need to finish packing. =( An althogether neccesary evil. I also have to be up pretty early. =P Yeah, I'll probably be writing in here more frequently seeing as I don't have to write on my other blog. So yeah, peace out.

oh l'amour

Okay! tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I'll tell you what, I'm not depressed! Haha, I don't have a valentine or anything, but it really doesn't bother me all that much, so I figured I'd talk about it. The good thing is, I won't have to see hardly anybody that is in that love-dovey mood practically all day! And I got a package today that made my day. It was from Darlene--she always seems to know what I need and she's always so willing to give. I guess Valentine's Day isn't just about your sweetheart, but it's about real love and you can feel real love for anybody, you friends and your family. So there's no reason for me to go into hiding tomorrow or any other Valentine's Day.

On another note, I love ice-skating. I got to go today and we had to whole ice to ourselves and so I got to do whatever I wanted and it was just awesome! I can't wait til I feel just as comfortable skating as I do walking, I think that's possible. I also got to know some of the people in the ward better, so it was all good.

I'm really loving life now. honestly. and i don't even have a guy in it. Okayyy so there are guys in it that I like and all that, but I don't have a boyfriend and I'm dealing pretty well, which makes me glad.

So to the world, Happy Valentine's Day!

Janvier, oh janvier.

So far, January has been pretty kind. I mean, not everything has worked out like I imagined it would, but then, when does it ever. There are a couple things I'm way excited about though. Almost at the same time during the week, my sister and I had the brilliant idea to go to France this summer. She is graduating from ASU in May and it would be a perfect time to celebrate that, improve our French speaking skills, and (hopefully) make some money with temp work. We have some relatives that live in France that said that we could call them if we were ever in France again (the 'we' is in reference to when my sister and mom went to France and met these relations the summer after my sister graduated from high school). Just the prospect of being able to go to France is exciting. I know that it's possible to do so and I feel really good about the idea. I mean, why else would both my sister and I get the same idea at the same time?

Another thing I'm excited about is the Honors activity this Friday. It's ice-skating at the Peaks Arena and I found a new love for ice-skating when I went again a while ago. It's very cheap because the Honors Program is obviously paying to rent out the arena, but most importantly it's a great date opportunity. I could ask somebody to go with me, but I already had someone in mind and then that train crashed when i found out he was dating somebody (i'm glad i found that out before i asked him, if i ever would have worked up the courage). I'm not altogther sad about that, but just the fact that everybody seems to has a significant other, except for me. And I'm not even kidding. Anyways, I know I could have fun by myself, but I think it would be fun to invite somebody, so I need to come up with a couple names of guys I would like to go with.

Then next Saturday I'm going apartment-hunting with my friend, Camille. (or at least that's what we've been planning, no definite word yet). We've talked about sharing an apartment before and I think it's a great idea. Plus, I'm keen to get out of my grandparents house. It's not that I don't like it here, I really like it a lot actually. I just think there's something to experience in living by yourself (well not all by yourself but you know what i mean). And I think it would be incredibly fun to live in an apartment complex. The only concern is, what if after I try it, I decide that it's not worth it and I want to live back with my Grandparents? or what if I just don't have enough money to keep staying at an apt? Will my Grandparents let me stay there again? I want to say that of course they would, but maybe they're actually sick of me! haha that would be something, wouldn't it. I could see how somebody could get sick of me. I'm not the best tenant. And i don't pay rent.

Last, but not least, I just feel like venting here. I really don't get how people so easily forget what's important when they get mixed up in the dating scene. I mean, I guess I know how it feels to really like somebody and how that can make you not prioritize your time right, but when it comes to comprimising on promises you made to yourself...it just makes me a little disappointed. I am writing this about one friend in particular and I wouldn't be so disappointed if he hadn't been in this situation before, but he has. I seriously think the world of this guy-he's always been kind and honest-but maybe I've misjudged him? I have the tendency of being gullible and naive. So in all reality this could be my problem, but I have no clue. And I suppose my disappointment is a little more complex. I feel like what he does is his business, and certainly I haven't treated him any differently, but it seemed almost when I saw him he became a little uncomfortable. But enough with that, I don't intend to treat him differently, but I'll probably talk to him about it (oh, how i'm looking forward to that conversation...:/). Ha, with any luck he won't think I'm jealous, because I most certainly am not. Aside from like the first week I met him, I haven't really been interested in him, but I still think he's an awesome guy and want the best for him. Okay, enough with other people's affairs.


Well maybe I lied....this in a way is related to other people's affairs. What happened to that culture of going after what you want, even when it refers to a guy/girl? I've never been one to act like this, because it always seems like it's not worth it, but I've realized that here at BYU I just seem to step down automatically whenever I hear a guy is seeing somebody. And when I think of maybe deposing that girl from the equation, I feel horrible for even thinking about it. I think it has something to do with the setting. I mean, I'm at BYU where there are so many good people and where, if a RM is dating somebody, he most likely is testing to see if this is the girl he will marry. And for some reason, it seems like that relationship of boyfriend/girlfriend is some sacred bond, like marriage. When in all reality, it's not, is it? I'm not saying this because I intend to go and try to steal some girl's man, but merely to say, 'why shouldn't I'? ha, I think I really could be going crazy, but I'll let you be the judge of that. At least nobody could accuse me of not being complex. :)

Have a great three-day weekend if everybody! I hope your plans are better than mine! (they're actually bond to be, because as of now, I have none).

A New Year Means...

...a new semester?? That is what has been drawing most of my attention this year, and it hasn't left me with much time to think about what most people do at the start of the year: make new year's resolutions. Now, I've never been a big one to write new year's resolutions, usually only doing so at the insistence of others. Yet, this year, I've decided to be like so many people and concretely decide on resolutions, but I intend to hold myself to these resolutions as if it were a binding contract with myself. By so doing, I hope to teach myself more discipline and hopefully in the process learn more about myself and my abilities.

My 2009 New Year's Resolutions:

Spiritual-
1. Read completely through the New Testament.
2. Read completly through the Doctrine and Covenants.
3. Be a full-tithe payer and faithful fast-offering payer.
4. Say a prayer of thanksgiving at least once a day.
5. Write in my journal faithfully

Academic-
6. Study hard for all my classes, so that above all, I understand the material.
7. Meet with each of my professors one-on-one and not be afraid to go to them for help.
8. Achieve a 4.0 GPA for the semester.

Physical-
9. Establish a regular pattern of cardio excercise.
10. Continue to practice Badminton.
11. Stay physically active through participation in Intramural sports.

Personal-
12. Improve my relationship with my mother and father, as well as each one of my siblings.
13. Be a reliable and understanding friend.
14. Continue to meet people by coming out of my comfort zone.
15. Learn charity for all men.

These fifteen resolutions look sort of intimidating when looked at all together like they are here. I know that they can be accomplished by remembering them daily and so I will print out this list and tape it to my mirror so that everyday I will be able to see my goals and hopefully through "small and simple means" accomplish some very great things.

Having come off of a really great Fast and Testimony meeting at Church and a great lesson in Relief Society. Even though I know that these goals come with great challenges, I feel like they are all possible and as of now, I have faith in my ability to see these resolutions through.

I'm really excited for school to start tomorrow! I have at least two classes with someone I know and I can't wait to meet even more people! I also think my professors this semester will be ones to remember.